Coaching from the couch
Winter means many things in Melbourne - it's the time to bring out the woollen parts of your wardrobe, dial up the themostat, more cosy nights in. It also signifies the start of the Australian Football League competition.
The AFL competition originated in Victoria, who are the most obsessed about AFL (although South Australia would have to come a close second, given there isn't much happening regarding amusement in that state).
(As an aside, Victorians are very defensive about being beaten at their "own" game, as other states have being dominating the competition over the last few years. Victorian baiting is always fun - there's a low cost of entry. Just start with a few choice comments on how badly the Victorian sides are performing. It is as certain to get them riled as presenting a few key facts on how unfriendly Melbourne weather is. Victorians tend to have a bit of an inferiority complex about their city. Having to beat tourists over the head with their own self-generated claim that Melbourne is the most liveable city in the world is a sure sign of low self-esteem. I am not sure that Melburnians have noticed that Big Sister Sydney doesn't really care and considers herself in the league with Real Cities like New York and Paris. Melbourne - get over it. We love you for the shopping and the food, not the weather or cosmopolitan outlook. But that's OK.)
Anyway, I digress....Winter means conversations at lunch no longer linger on cricket and home renovations....it's all about last weekend's match, how your team appears to be deliberately letting you down, speculating endlessly on who's in and who's out, whether so-and-so will be let off by the tribunal.
I can understand this level of interest. Really, I can.
But what will never fail to amaze me is the belief by passionate football fans that screaming at the television set during the match will somehow enable the players to hear the advice.
Is there something about television that I have missed? I did not realise it was a two-way communication device.
One day television may become so advanced that the players will have an opportunity to politely offer the disenfranchised spectators a chance to prove he/she can play better.
I'd like to see that!
posted by Yarravillean @ 8:17 pm
2 Comments:
You are correct that screaming alone at the TV does not allow the footy players to hear your helpful advice. You must also throw the remote at the TV and ideally a computer keyboard if there is one handy.
I would like to paraphrase one Homer Simpson in relation to this one (always
a reliable source for nuggets of wisdom relating to your average Joe's take
on modern civilisation). "This ticket (or affiliation with a football club)
doesn't just give me a seat (or couch in lounge room), it gives me the
right, NO, the DUTY! to make a complete ass of myself." And that's what I
do week in week out. Just ask Steve. The footy is the only place public
expletives at the top of my lungs will be merged into a collective groan at
my clubs shortcomings on the field - sooo therapeutic - cowardly yes, but
definitely worth the price of admission. The fact the TV doesn't talk back
is just a bonus which enables the viewer to feel even more supreme; safe in
the knowledge that their rants won't be challenged!
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